Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
There are three intolerable things in life – cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women.
Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
The trouble with this country is that there are too many people going about saying, “The trouble with this country is….”