Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
Dinner theater is anti-culture.
Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived.
Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable.
The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.