These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.

In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

I never said actors were cattle. I said that actors should be treated like cattle.

Television has brought murder back into the home– where it belongs.

Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.

I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.