Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.

If a child shows himself to be incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity marry, and perpetuate his kind.

Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.

A pessimist is a person who has to listen to too many optimists.

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.