Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three – and paradise is when you have none.

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.