Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

Favorite animal: steak.

Being a woman is of special interest to aspiring male transexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.