The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice.

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.

The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.

All professions are conspiracies against the laity.