Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy.

If more than ten percent of the population likes a painting it should be burned, for it must be bad.

My main reason for adopting literature as a profession was that, as the author is never seen by his clients, he need not dress respectably.

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.

All my life, affection has been showered upon me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.

I make a fortune from criticizing the policy of the government, and then hand it over to the government in taxes to keep it going.

The love of money is the root of all virtue.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.