The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.

Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.

Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something very clever when they are only wasting their time.

Reviewing has one advantage over suicide: in suicide you take it out on yourself; in reviewing you take it out on other people.

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo.

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

A dramatic critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

The 100% American is 99% an idiot.