In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.