Congress consists of one third, more or less, scoundrels; two thirds, more or less, idiots; and three thirds, more or less, poltroons.

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.

The first kiss is stolen by the man; the last is begged by the woman.

Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.

Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing they die earlier.

Judge: a law student who marks his own papers.

Man is a natural polygamist: he always has one woman leading him by the nose, and another hanging on to his coattails.