Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.

Carlyle said, “A lie cannot live”; it shows he did not know how to tell them.

In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.

This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.