Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

Warning signs that lover is bored: 1. Passionless kisses 2. Frequent sighing 3. Moved, left no forwarding address.