A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other… until death do them join.
An institution which is populare because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.
O why was I born with a different face? Why was I not born like rest of my race?
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.
The world is so dreadfully managed, one hardly knows to whom to complain.
A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist.