God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
A child of my own! Oh, no, no, no! Let my flesh perish with me, and let me not transmit to anyone the boredom and ignominiousness of life.
Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.
I like a friend better for having faults that one can talk about.