Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.
Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan – a Mount Rushmore of incompetence.
The thought of being President frightens me and I do not think I want the job.
Sometimes when I look at my children I say to myself, “Lillian, you should have stayed a virgin.”
Gerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
Puritanism…helps us enjoy our misery while we are inflicting it on others.