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We Americans want

We Americans want peace, and it is now evident that we must be prepared to demand it. For other peoples have wanted peace, and the peace they received was the peace of death.

The only truly

The only truly secure system is one that is powered off, cast in a block of concrete and sealed in a lead-lined room with armed guards — and even then I have my doubts.

Democracy is a

Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.

The creator of

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

I have been

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends… that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.

I found out

I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.