The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.
Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.