How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?
Never do anything yourself that others can do for you.
Opportunity knocked. My doorman threw him out.
I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it.
I rely on my personality for birth control.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.
When the sun comes up, I have morals again.